Distractions: It’s Been A While…

If destruction fails to entangle us, distraction will do it's best....click for more Beth Moore quotes

Hey Y’all,

I hope today’s much overdue post finds everyone happy, healthy and loving life to the fullest!  Yes, I said much overdue because I’ve disappeared from the blog since umm…. MARCH!  Whoops! Let’s just say there has been much going on to keep me distracted. But no excuses, I’m guilty as charged! 

Speaking of distractions, I don’t know about you, but I often allow things to distract me from all of the above mentioned.  Enjoying life, happiness, being healthy, etc. It’s not intentional y’all, it’s just LIFE! And it seems that life has a funny way of offering plenty of interruptions and distractions whether it be fun things, not so fun things, situational things, and/or circumstances beyond our control sort of things. And while we do our best to not let interruptions lead to destruction, we often allow them to distract us.

For example, my health continues to prove a challenge for me. Having Meniere’s Disease makes me really tired. I have no energy some days to get out and do the things I love. Often, I feel insecure that I’m not as strong as I was before.  This interruption in my health has made me even more afraid of the unknown (as if I wasn’t already afraid enough!!).  And although my symptoms are somewhat under control, and my hearing improved, I’ve managed to somehow contract colds or sinus infections that have set me back (or as I view it at least). Unexpected things that cause me to be frustrated and lose focus. 

As with life, there are unexpected things that come up in our jobs, there are the unexpected actions of others that hurt us, or there may be someone that unexpectedly needs your help and you are… well, busy! There are unexpected health issues, the list goes on.  Distractions.  Interruptions.

Historically, I have found that distractions are what I allow to dictate my feelings and how I react to situations. They halt my progress and keep me from time with God (notice I say “they” vs. taking ownership). I also allow them to distract me from my routine and Heaven help us ALL when this happens!!  I tend to allow distractions to impact my rest, which results in unclear, negative thinking, and impacts my overall well being.  And if I continue to allow distractions to derail me, it will keep me from seeing my purpose, my goals, and more importantly, they will keep me from seeing and hearing God clearly.

I recently listened to Holly Furtick’s Mother’s Day message which was titled “The Gift of Interruption”.  Holly is the wife of Pastor Steven Furtick at Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC. And how appropriate to have her speak on the day in which we celebrate mothers….because mother’s never experience disractions, right?! πŸ˜‰

When I first read the title of the message, I immediately thought “there ain’t nothing good about an interruption… so how can it be a gift??”.  You know, the moment you are rocking and rolling at work and you get that unexpected thing that comes up or the unexpected visitor that stops by which halts your progress.  Ummm, that’s no gift. Or that evening in which you plan to rest and relax and something unexpected comes up and steals your night. Nope, nothing good about that either. So how can we view interruptions as a gift?! She had me intrigued so I decided to listen. 

Not even 15 minutes into the message I realized that my perspective was all wrong and my attitude needed some tweaking!  Holly pointed out that sometimes we get “so busy with unimportant things that we miss the important things”. And that sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between what is truly an obstacle vs. an opportunity. That’s right, an opportunity.  Holly reminded us that sometimes, interruptions and distractions could be  “invitations or opportunities” for something so much bigger and greater than we could ever imagine.  But it’s our perspective that dictates whether we view the distraction or interruption as an obstacle or an opportunity.   

After reflecting on that truth for a minute, who am I kidding… for days…. it was hard at first to find opportunity in those painful or inconvenient times of distraction. I can’t honestly say that feeling bad so often is a joy. Because it’s not.  But what I can say is, the rest that is required from sickness brings me closer to God in so many ways.  It has allowed me to see that my strength comes from God, not my own. He has allowed me to be more empathetic to those who suffer diseases or deal with daily struggles as well.  It has allowed me to see things that are more important  vs. the things that really, at the end of the day, simply do not matter. 

1 Peter 3:8 tells us: “All of you should be one of mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude”.  That said, although my situation is not the favored situation, it is the one that humbles me and allows me to be open to others.  It forces me to lean on God’s truth, not my own understanding.  And I’ll be honest, I’m not always good at this…. I’m human. It’s hard to fully submit and trust The Lord completely some days.  But I know it’s the only way.  

I am not a perfect Christian.  I have never and will never claim to be.  In fact, I have a long way to go in my walk with Christ.  I get distracted with the best of em’! I overthink, I don’t rest as I should, I’m a people pleaser, I’m a workaholic, I’m a busy body.  Basically… I live and breed constant distraction in my own life in addition to the unexpected.  I am much more of a “Martha” than a “Mary” (reference Luke 10: 38-42). Yup, that’s me… Good ole Martha, #blessherheart! 

In Luke 10, we learn that Martha was distracted with serving and making sure that everything was perfect.  But Mary on the otherhand, was more concerned with The Lord himself, what he had to say and his teachings.  In this passage, when Martha mentions that “she’s doing all the work” The Lord replies to her: Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her”. 

Whew! Talk about a gut check!  That’s right, a big dose of #thatswhatsup .  Again, as Holly said in her message, “sometimes we are too busy focusing on the unimportant things, that we miss the important things”.  Each day I have to succumb to the to fact that I need to rest.  Fully, physically and spiritually rest in the arms of our Father.  And in order to be reenergized, refreshed and keep an “opportunistic” approach and perspective, I’ll need to make it a priority to bask in HIS word daily.  Not the word of “Missy” and of “others”. The Word of God.  And THE.BEST part is, that when I choose the “good portion”, it will not be taken from me”. 

If you are floating along in the same distracted boat as me, I pray the same for you too!  That you will choose the good portion!

Spin Ya’ Later Y’all,

πŸŒ€The.Dizzy.Chick.πŸŒ€

Obedience Through Sickness – Say Whaaat?!

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Happy Sunday Y’all!

It’s been several weeks since my last post! I think this Dizzy Chick has been thawing out since a trip to New Hampshire at the beginning of the month. Seven feet of snow for my sweet friends in the North East (bless their hearts!!). And it seems those wicked, frigid temps and ice followed me back to the “warm” state of South Carolina! Brrrrr… I hope all my dizzy and non-dizzy peeps are staying warm wherever you are and that life is treating you exceptionally well!

Aside from the cold temperatures, these past few weeks have offered their fair share of challenges with some blessings in between. The Meniere’s Disease research has been ongoing, I have good days but there have been more bad than good of recent. Frustrated and often wanting to throw in the towel, I didn’t. My purpose for today’s post is to remind other sufferers and/or readers (potentially going through some sort of storm) why you can’t give up either!

Last Sunday, February, 15th, was a tough day for me. It started in the morning with a slight headache, extreme fatigue and dizziness. Constant disequilibrium that I couldn’t ward off. Miserable feeling to say the least. That morning I decided to watch our church service from home. My energy and mood were already taxed and I was disappointed that I would not be able to attend since there was a guest Pastor speaking (who I love!!). #bummedpartyofone to say the least! I had been anticipating him speaking ALL week! Oh well….watching him speak from home would just have to do. Thanks to my parents and my boyfriend, I now have the conveniences of an iPad and Apple TV to console my momentary woes of watching Steven Furtick rip us back to reality through his unbelievable ways of sharing God’s truth. My friend Fran and I get so excited to share his pod casts as his perspectives are extremely applicable to life. That said, I’m all propped up on the couch and ready to go!

The service begins, the music beautiful per usual at NewSpring. Perry Noble, our pastor comes onstage to kick off the message and to introduce the guest Pastor… STEVEN!! Yeehaaaw! I’m so pumped! And in the next moment, an emotional Perry begins to speak about some of the tragedies in several of our church campuses over the past week. A young child dies of cancer, a faithful contributor and owner in the church commits suicide, and a young couple delivers a stillborn child. Our Pastor’s heart is literally breaking for the people in our church. So humble. So real.

Perry shared with us that God had called him to preach on healing as so many in the church needed healing. And I’m in awe of a Pastor that loves his church enough to rebook an iconic guest Pastor so that he could LEAD his church to understand that healing is available to us all. That Jesus is a healer and how we can come to know Jesus as our healer! My heart is warmed and encouraged as this type of leadership and raw emotion is rare to see in churches.

As a person who has been spiritually broken, who is physically broken, who has been relationally and emotionally broken and felt nothing short of a miracle would help, this message was so powerful for me and our church. Perry reminded us that God is not mad at us for being sick. That no matter our sickness: , spiritual, emotional, relational or physical, Jesus just wants us to be well. Perry then reiterated that God has given us the gift to walk WITH each other and SUPPORT each other. Not judge each other. That is what the church should do and will do if it is of Christ. Perry then asked that the Care Team in our Church come down to pray healing over those that needed it. In that moment, I was bummed that I was not there. But I also felt like walking down and admitting that I was broken would be slightly embarrassing and awkward. You know, that moment when good ole pride kicks in and steals your joy! And of course I’m reasoning the fact that I pray for myself… my family prays for me… That’s enough right?! And in the next moments, I realize how wrong I truly am and that a blessing is soon to follow….. If I’ll just trust and take the next step.

After the service, my boyfriend sent a text asking if I wanted to go to church with him for prayer. Of course, I appreciated him asking but gently let him know that I had already watched the service. As the day went on, I continued to feel worse lying around feeling somewhat depressed that this is just “how my life will be”. And hours later at 5PM, my sweet friend Fran texts me: “Praying for your healing now. Did you go to a service today? I feel God leading you to go ask for healing at a service. It is awesome to have someone pray healing over you, it is powerful. I hope you don’t mind my advice. Hugs!!” Whoa!!!! Twice in one day, two of my favorite peeps are leading me to a service for prayer. You’re probably reading this thinking “what is the big deal???”. But friends, this is a VERY BIG DEAL. Those texts were a GOD THING! And when you hear God calling, YOU FOLLOW. I quickly got ready, Dustin picked me up and we took off to the 6PM service where a sweet girl prayed for my healing. I couldn’t even hear all that she prayed from the music, but the feeling that came over me in that moment is unexplainable. There are no words to describe the peace that comes from being obedient. You just feel and know it was right. It was exactly what God meant for you.

On Wednesday of this week, I went for my six month follow up with my Otolaryngologist and the Audiologist for a hearing test. Nervous, of course, to learn how much my hearing had either improved or deteriorated. Wondering if they would do another intratympanic injection while there. I simply prayed for good news and hoped for the best.

As I’m catching up with the Audiologist on how I’ve been over the past six months, she explains that with Meniere’s Disease, a patient’s hearing will slowly continue to fluctuate and deteriorate over time. Nice way to start off huh?! Real positive feeling… NOT!!! So then the test began… Right ear first, worst ear first. I felt myself becoming more overwhelmed as I could not distinguish between the constant, screeching tinnitus or the hearing test itself. Panic was setting in but I breathed and pressed on through. Test complete.

To my surprise, the Audiologist returned with a shocked but pleasant look on her face to share that my hearing had actually returned to the normal range again!!! Aaaahhhhhhh!!! (and the angels sang!). She was pleasantly shocked and said the doctor would review next. Proceeding on to the doctor visit, he reviewed my MRI which was reassuring, we discussed me giving up chewing gum which has provided TMJ relief and then we moved on to the hearing test. He was extremely pleased with the results and kept commending my efforts in sticking by the low sodium diet, by keeping with the meds and by doing all research possible to determine my triggers. He stressed the importance of meditation, stress management and keeping with the low sodium diet. He was proud of my results and that I had listened and obeyed what he asked me to do exactly. Praise be to God for this news!

After the appointment, I received another text from Fran asking how my appointment went. After sharing my good news, little did Fran know that her next words would change my life in that moment…. Her text: “Girl!!!! #powerofprayer. You are obedient. To God and to diet.” Whaaaaat?! Obedient?! Was I really??? Let’s face it, fully trusting and following is not always my strong suit. Especially when your health has changed your life completely. So I thought about what she had said and meditated on her words for a bit… My conclusion which I later shared with my friend:

Fran and Dustin’s leadership, encouragement and support in conjunction with Fran’s perspective allowed me to see just how obedient I had been. Although I didn’t realize my act of obedience that ultimately led to my healing, even if only momentarily (maybe forever)….. You see, God placed me in the hands of a capable physician who specializes in my disease. This physician did not have to accept me as a new patient. But he did. And by listening and following his instruction, his knowledge and the treatment course, that was obedience. And by listening to Dustin and Fran’s encouragement to go to a service for prayer for healing, that was obedience and FULLY trusting God’s guidance through their leadership. In return, I received phenomenal results and the greatest gift of all…. a fresh new perspective in how our obedience leads to our healing, our freedom, and ultimately peace! Jesus Christ is our Healer! And I need to know Him as my Healer.

God is molding me through my storms. And I am blessed and grateful that he’s doing so through wise, loving, caring and Godly friends. They are not judging me even though they can’t fully relate to the disease. Instead, they praying for me and encouraging me through this battle. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally….when I feel like I need a miracle, I will look to God as my healer, confidently knowing that he has got me. Every step of the way!

The most important lesson to me through this experience, and hopefully to those who are fighting a battle today, was the realization that “We want big directional signs from God. And God just wants us to pay attention.”. Thank you to Lysa Terkeurst for helping me to realize this through your ministry!

I’m so thankful that on Sunday, February ,15th, that I listened and paid attention to what God was asking me to do. And that I did not sit in my misery and make excuses. I’m thankful that I didn’t give up on the days that I felt completely hopeless. I’m thankful that I obeyed my doctor’s instructions and the diet. I’m thankful that I didn’t just expect and demand answers or a miracle. And that I saw an extremely intelligent doctor but didn’t waste his knowledge by giving up and expecting him just to “fix me”. I can’t say that this road is an easy one because it’s not. But it’s the road that God has put me on. And I pray that I will continue to find my healing and strength in Jesus Christ. Always.

That is my prayer for you too. That no matter what we are going through, that we always remember that Jesus is the anchor that holds us steady during our storms. As our pastor reminded us today, the tomb is EMPTY. Jesus Christ overcame death. If you are within Christ, ANYTHING is possible. Including healing! Let’s all believe together that “the BEST is YET to come”!

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Father, thank you for wise, loving, caring supporters in my life. Thank you for placing me in the arms of a knowledgeable, capable physician. Thank you for a Pastor who loves his church and it’s people enough to pray for our healing. Thank you for your Grace to love me even on the days that I have a hard time trusting you and just want to give up. You are my healer, my savior, my anchor, my all. Thank you Jesus! In your loving name I pray. Amen

Love and Blessings to All!

Spin Ya’ Later Y’all,
πŸŒ€The.Dizzy.Chick.πŸŒ€

Confession: Some Days I’m Angry

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Hey Y’all,

It’s a beautiful Saturday and I’m thankful for the weekend! It has been a busy few weeks albeit extremely productive and fruitful. For that, I am humbled and grateful. Busy keeps me going and focused, but the weekend demands REST!

Trying to keep it low key (in pursuit of rest of course), I kept with my morning ritual of quiet time and coffee. And then I decided to take some time to reflect over the things I need “to do”. An oxymoron, ya think? Pursuit of rest yet let’s knock out the infamous To-Do list. The “rest struggle” is real y’all! Then enters guilt to make me feel bad about resting because it’s gorgeous outside. Yup! This is the battle in this Dizzy Chick’s head. Which is sooo helpful as this makes day four of waking with a terrible headache on the verge of a migraine. Frustrated does not even begin to describe my mental state and pain at this point. Yes I said mental, don’t judge or try to pretend you’ve never had one of these moments! #iknowimnotalone

To divert from this drama in my head, panic over all I that I needed to get done, and headache, I decided to get on Facebook (because that’s productive and will make you feel better… #whatev). Immediately, I see photos that my sister has shared of my two sweet nieces and nephew. Their innocence and smiles melt my heart of course and I feel myself missing them all terribly. They are in Iowa, I’m in South Carolina. So how to cure this missing them and get my Lauren, Callie, Clay and Caleb fix?? FaceTime them!! Saturday blues are cured (momentarily at least). And then we hang up and BOOM, just like that it hit me. They are growing waaaay too fast!!! Now I’m seeing a trend here… TIME. Time to be busy, time to rest, time to enjoy, and ultimately, how fast time flies! The point of all this?!?! Be patient (ha!), I’m getting there…

We all know life is short and time will pass us by. We never know what tomorrow will bring. And some days it feels as if time is standing still. But it’s definitely not doing that! And of course, you are not supposed to live in your past, you are not supposed to worry about tomorrow, you are supposed to live in the present (ha!). Well I’m here to tell you… I am human AND that ain’t easy! It may be for the Yogi’s of the world but this homegirl is no Yogi (I’m actually envious of Yogi’s so no judgement Yogi Yoga friends). I cannot quiet my mind, meditation in quiet does not exist. Roaring tinnitus and a busy brain will not allow me to sit quietly and feel present. And somedays the mind is not always strong. This past week has shown me just that…. But I can’t do anything but accept the place I’m in.

You see, on the outside it may look like this girl has it all together (somedays not everyday). But on the inside, people have no idea at all. And although I shouldn’t be concerned with what others think, I sometimes can’t help but to care. That’s just my heart and how God created me. To care entirely too much sometimes. The lesson through my pain is that people see things going on in the lives of others, but they may not feel comfortable asking or desire to take the time to understand. It can be easy for many to draw conclusions or judge but not to love, serve and support. We are all guilty, no one gets a pass on this one.

Over the years, people have said to me that I tend to “acquire haters”. I don’t know if that is a compliment or bad a thing?! And then of course the party in my head begins to wonder why people are judging me, would say things about me to others, what did I do to deserve that, why would they hate me? Is it genuine dislike? Are they just curious, nosey or maybe, truly care? How do I discern what is of God vs. what is not?

And then I ask myself, what is so interesting about my life or Me?! I’m actually not that interesting at least I don’t think. But for those who want to see the inside of this brain (yes, I have one, it was confirmed in an MRI this week), I’ll be happy to share my “weakness” and how I feel many days. So here goes, enjoy:

I am not where I thought I would be at almost 37 years old….. I’m in pain most days, living with consistent headaches, tinnitus, dizziness, loss of hearing, an incurable disease with little to no relief or answers. I’m not a mother or a wife, which I desire to be. I don’t live on 100 acres in a big ole, new house, which would be my dream. I have to work even harder now at everything I do, more than I ever have before. And anyone that truly knows me, knows my work ethic (and it’s not lazy!). Most days I do not feel that I’m making any headway in my life. And as blessed as I know that I truly am, some days I admittedly feel broken and weak. As a matter of fact, I’ve been told that I am weak. And this, my fellow dizzy and non-dizzy peeps makes me ANGRY!!!

Believe it or not, I’m just a simple (yet complicated) child of God going through battles just like anyone else. I may clean up well, be outgoing (or loud rather), I may have a tendency to wave my freak flag at times and be silly, or break out in song or dance at any moment. I may work hard and speak up for what was is right and/or for others and appear strong….but that doesn’t mean that inside it’s always okay. Simply put, my heart is overwhelmed.

Let me be clear by saying that I am not feeling sorry for myself nor am I asking you to feel sorry for me. Quite opposite in fact. I’m merely confessing for those who want to know, are curious to know, are nosey to know or for those who are feeling completley real or lost, fighting a battle and imperfect like me. So much that you get angry and question everything. You see, there was a time I felt so close to The Lord, as if I had a direct line into the Big Man himself. Nothing or no one could touch me. But over the past few years, so much has happened…somedays I feel positive, but others, I feel just plain ANGRY! Call me crazy, call me weak, call me whatever…. but not every day in this life, with a disease, or with whatever battle we are facing is a cakewalk. I can ride the positivity train most days, spinning on the inside yet appearing okay on the outside. Telling myself don’t worry about tomorrow, what other people think, what they will do or won’t do. But it’s not easy… as many know but would not willingly admit.

That said, I’m extremely thankful for my church, our pastor, my family and my small group of quality friends that know me, my personality, how I process things and still love me despite my flaws! ALL remind me that it’s okay to not be okay some days. That’s it’s necessary to rest and not to feel guilty for doing so. That it doesn’t mean you are lazy. And that it’s okay to ask questions, and ask God “why?”. He fully expects that we will ask why and in doing so, he does not “penalize” us. It is actually in our weakest moments that he will meet us there with his love, mercy and grace. Gifts that I do not deserve but because he loves me, I receive. Our value comes from what God says about us, not because of what other people say or think.

I opened my Bible today to Psalm 61 and right there verse 2 met me with a loving reminder: “When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher that I”. Wow! What it would be like to have the patience and strength of David!!! Knowing that he wrote this prayer after narrowly escaping one of Saul’s efforts to kill him while hiding in the desert. Psalm 61 is a prayer for security and assurance. Wherever we are, we can trust that God will be there to answer our cries for help.

So I’ll leave you all with this…. Jesus is my rock, and some days this is just how I roll. Weak, angry, feeling hopeless. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.
I may not be where I thought I would be, I may not be where I want to be, but today I’m praying for bold faith to stay on course and follow wherever HE is leading me. And that is my prayer for you…. Having issues isn’t the absence of victory in our lives. It’s a call to action, reminding us that victory is right around the corner. And that God’s grace will carry you, one step at a time. Our greatest ministry will come out of our deepest pain.

Time to wipe off the anger and hurt, and put my happy, thankful pants on! Joy comes in the morning and the day anew!

Spin Ya’ Later Y’all,
πŸŒ€The.Dizzy.Chick.πŸŒ€

New Year, New Beginnings #grow2015

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What’s up 2015?!!

Welcome to your New Year full of new beginnings Y’all!!! New opportunities to grow and a fresh perspective on health and happiness! You know, the important things! And who doesn’t love a “fresh start”?! There is something about kicking the old year behind and anticipating what the new year will bring….a new set of blessings, a new set of feelings, a new set of opportunities to learn and grow, the list goes on and on. And with anything, a new set of challenges. But notice the trend (because we want to be trendsetters!), all is NEW! That’s right, out with the old, in with the new! Just like when you clean the clutter out of your closet, your desk, your emails, whatever…. it just feels so darn good and NEW! I may be an organizing freak, but there is nothing better than a fresh, clean start!

Today has been this Dizzy Chick’s first day to truly rest and reflect on 2014 (and I’m not getting out of my PJ’s so don’t try to make me!) aaaaahhhhh! And as I’m organizing in my head, planning, and looking back, I admittedly have mixed emotions. Feelings of sadness, confusion, questions, sickness (the clutter)….and on the other hand, feelings of thankfulness, growth, strength, knowledge, awareness, forgiveness, and discernment. Overall, the feeling of being BLESSED! Blessings that are gifted to us from our creator, no one else!

You may not be on the positivity train this year, but it’s only January 2nd so hang in there. We have the future to jump back on! And if it makes you feel any better, I rode 2014 on the little red Caboose, half on and half off. So, I totally feel ya! 2014 definitely offered it’s fair share of challenges. But looking back, so much clarity came from each one. I will share a few:

1. Faith – it comes from above and no one else
2. Grace – it comes from above and no one else
3. Truth – it comes from above and no one else
4. Love – it is learned from above and no one else
5. Peace – it comes from above and no one else
6. Joy – it comes from above and no one else
7. Healing – it comes from above and no one else
8. Forgiveness – it comes from above and no one else
9. Happiness – it comes from above and no one else
10. Value – it comes from above and no one else

For 2015, let the above be your guide and your focus as it will be for me. And not just for 2015 but until eternity. Let this trend become your statement piece and purpose for LIFE! This year and forever, I want to fully embrace that all of the above is extended to me, therefore it is my spiritual responsibility to do the same. Extend grace, love, peace, hope, joy, and forgiveness to others. To serve others. To be a loving, supportive daughter, friend, family member and coworker. To realize my value and purpose, the reason for which I live everyday.

God has blessed us in so many ways even during in our challenges. I realize that too often we let someone, something or some feeling overshadow his truth. So with that, let’s ring in the New Year remembering that “old ways will not open new doors”. If you want to grow, if you want to open new doors, then you have to focus on what is important. Our God, his word. Not what someone thinks of you, not that mistake you made, not about that goal you were not able to achieve, not that divorce you’re going through, not the disease you are suffering, not someone else’s problems, not how much money you have or your status…. but rather on what is important. God’s love, grace, forgiveness, mercy and ultimately that you are VALUED and LOVED! If you want to see your life change and walk through new doors, you have to close the old ones. Actually, this is the one time that you can SLAM THAT DOOR SHUT! Our past does not define our today or our tomorrow. With that said, make 2015 your BEST YEAR YET! #thebestisyettocome #grow2015

Love and many blessings to you ALL!

Spin Ya’ Later Y’all,
The.Dizzy.Chick